Hello everyone, this is me reacting to some relationship advice I saw online. It is very good and I hope you all use it to further your romantic endeavors. ALSO just want to add that I’m not trying to trash Cosmo, I’m sure these pieces of advice are outliers to what they usually put out. #Peace&Luv
I hope you have an awesome day and thanks for watching, love y’all!!
hello my name is Emily as you may or may not know and today I wanted to talk about relationships bow-chicka-wow-wow I hate that I just did that um my personal opinion on relationships is never had one however some relationship tips and advice are just so objectively bad it doesn't matter that I've never been in one I can still tell it's trash now I'm sure a lot of you have heard of a magazine cosmopolitan right it can be a little a bit of scandalous a bit for the list miss rebels mean I don't think I used that correctly not having any serious purpose or value well I mean some of these tips I remember when I was younger I'd be you know waiting in line at the grocery store and I'd catch a glimpse at some of the cosmopolitan covers and it would say things like 17 ways to please your man and diminish my innocence but this magazine has a lot of tips and advice regarding relationships don't know her and uh physical intimacy also don't know her so I thought why not sift through some of these tips and tricks and advice that was published in an actual magazine to actually sell to actual people let's get started he shares the details of his day therefore he must be hiding something so yes ladies and gents if your man says more than three words about his day I don't know according to Cosmo you should be a little suspicious I'd say once he starts getting around the area of like two sentences cheater he's cheating one time I had a friend who was seeing this guy right and apparently he was saying things to her like I went to subway today with Richard on my lunch break or you know they were out of regular mayonnaise so I have to get light Mayo I mean hello infidelity alert adultery alert cheater cheater cheater cheater you know let me just give you a play-by-play of what happens when your man shares details about his day hey babe Hey so I I went to the store today and I bought a whole bunch of apple juice cuz it was half off what did you just say yeah I know a great deal right I was gonna get grape juice when I was it's more expensive and I also don't like it as much so who is she sorry what the other woman it is she worth it Jim babe what what are you talking about you you don't think I've noticed you've been a little more talkative lately huh very detailed lately Jim all right Todd did you have kids with this other woman huh do you have a hole there family that I don't even know about you don't think I noticed that you're taking a lot more business trips really whoa okay I have no idea what you're saying all I said is that apple juice was half off is it Karen from the country club I knew it how did you know I've read cosmopolitan okay this piece of advice says if he swallows while he's talking he's lying this doesn't necessarily have to apply to your boyfriend it can apply to any man ever for example let me just show you something that's happened to me before hey Dad I got an a on my anatomy test oh well that's awesome Emily yeah I know you studied really hard so yeah yeah great I'm a proud dad sorry what was that so I was like all right you say you're a proud dad but you swallowed right before you say it so I don't know it's pretty interesting so what exactly are you lying to me about is it the fact that you're proud are you not really proud of me are you even my dad where are the adoption papers good if that's even your real name so ladies and gents if your man ever takes time while talking to you to swallow his saliva liar he's lying you know some people might think okay Emily okay Cosmo okay women what should men just hold their saliva in their mouths throughout the entire conversation until it's overflowing like the Niagara Falls and I would say yes that's what Cosmo said this piece of advice says if he starts grooming himself he's cheating ladies and gents does your man shower does he brush his hair does he dare I say even floss well you know what else he's probably doing he's probably flirting with the cashier down Whole Foods Kelsey right I know she's blonde beautiful place tennis who knows how long they've been seeing each other behind your back ever since he started brushing his teeth more guess what he's also been going to Whole Foods more okay cheater cheater cheater pumpkin eater if you want a loyal man ladies and gentlemen then you need to look for someone who hasn't showered for so long if their hair is matted to their head they've never seen a brush before I don't even know what toothpaste is the more pungent and rancid their body odor is the more likely they are to stay loyal to you in a monogamous relationship and that's just the tea ladies and gents if he's overprotective of his gadgets he's hiding something now ladies I'm sure we've all been there you know trying to break into our boyfriend's phone trying to you know guess their passcode so then we can threaten all his side chicks cuz that's what goes on in a normal healthy relationship you know a lot of the comedy videos on Instagram touch on the subject of you know women breaking into their boyfriend's phones and as a woman I would just like to say that that is completely normal and entirely true Instagram skits might as well be documentaries with how true all of the content is so once I was hanging out with this guy and I wanted to break into his phone but when he woke up he was all mad at me because oh I disabled his phone for four days because I stayed up all night trying to guess his passcode like any normal sane woman would I was like why are you being so protective of your phone what are you hiding I even hacked into his laptop to check his search history and guess what I found earlier that day he had searched jewelry from Jarrod I don't know who Jarrod is or why he's giving you jewelry but the only person who should be receiving jewelry is me and then he has the nerve to get mad at me because I destroyed his laptop with the jackhammer and it's like why are you so protective of your gadgets what are you hiding who was Jared if he's happy he's cheating you heard that correctly ladies and gents if your man is happy he's cheating if your man says anything along the lines of oh babe you make me so happy or I'm always feeling so happy whenever I'm with you it's like oh really is that is that so he's the other woman Jim if he shows any of even enjoying his time slightly while his with you well I mean you better get ready to dig your key into the side of his pretty little souped up four-wheel drive carve your name into his leather seats maybe next time he'll think before he cheats you want a man that's gonna be wild to you yet you have to ensure his unhappiness you want a man that's always on the verge of tears whenever he's with you you want him to be drowning in misery now that is a keeper so all in all I hope you enjoyed this video please take all of this advice very seriously because I truly believe it and look if you want a successful relationship these tips and tricks are gonna lock that down for those of you who don't understand sarcasm very well first of all welcome to my channel you probably want to leave if you don't understand sarcasm please don't take this seriously because I know someone out there probably um will kind of miss the mark on my sarcasm and actually take it seriously so disclaimer don't do that so yes this advice is all real and if you want to be a good partner you should follow it also if you want to be a good partner you should subscribe to me and give this video a like and turn my notifications on and comment down below any couples therapist will tell you that the easiest way to fix a broken relationship is to subscribe to me and binge watch all my videos trust me I mean you don't don't fact-check that just trust me love you all and until next time