Kylo Ren Reviews Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (SPOILERS!)

Kylo Ren Reviews Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (SPOILERS!)

By popular demand, Kylo Ren shares his thoughts on Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.
Buy the track at Bandcamp:
Support our work:
Podcast and more:

kylo Ren here many of you have asked in the comment section whether or not I would return with the review of wrote what a Star Wars story the answer of course is first off obviously obviously this is going to be full of spoilers so if you don't already know that everyone dies in the end you should leave right now next I'd like to clear something up in my last video I went on a little bit of a rant about the incompetence of the Empire's design and engineering team responsible for the Death Star and the critical structural weakness that destroyed it turns out this whole movie is about how it wasn't really their fault but instead the doing of a traitorous coward weighed down by the love of his family I am on board with this premise the story follows jyn erso a previously unknown rebel scum who leads an unlikely ragtag group of equally if not more rebellious Cubs on a mission to steal the blueprints for the Death Star we all know how this plays out so I'm going to skip right to the details first this he with me there's been a lot of discussion about scenes from the trailers not making it into the movie but why did you clear with my emotions like this that was a no-win scenario for Jin and I was really looking forward to seeing her shredded by laser fire oh well still not as bad as the Predators trailer though putting 15 laser sights on Adrien Brody instead of the one that made it into the actual movie cuz you know there was only one predator and not 15 predators so let's talk characters jyn erso capable reluctant by nature inspired when necessary I don't know good climber likes to would hope I didn't completely hate her Kassie an ADD door next of course we have magic stick man and his sidekick Admiral aimbot man magic stick man what's his deal does he actually have some sort of connection with the force what does he just have blind luck I fear nothing all is as the Force Wilson I did like his mysterious dance like fighting style though I've never seen anything quite like that before he appeared to be using his body parts as weapons I found it visually stimulating not a fan of Admiral aimbot this man was a walking cheat code I look here's a little clip of him in action I have to give a quick shout-out to the boss I sleep – Oh dr. Hasan and Ponda Baba aka ugly at walrus face do these guys just run around the galaxy picking fights I'm glad to see they escaped the destruction of Jeddah just in time to pick a fight on a completely different planet a couple days later you've got to respect that level of dedication and anger Saul Guerrero holy crap let's just say I'm glad he is dead you know he may have been fighting against the Empire but his single-minded in ruthless pursuit of his goals would have made him a great ally if he wasn't a fanatical psychopath either way I seriously need to get a bullet bullet will turn your brain to soup and steal the dream save the dream hahahaha that song let's see oh it was good to see grandma talking again Peter Cushing was excellent as always I'm glad they brought him back and then there's Kay – it makes sense that the rebels could only make it through the day by using the superior engineering and craftsmanship of the Empire did eleven protocol droids split its attention between system hacking and precision executions of trained soldiers no it was an imperial droid and do not underestimate his ability to diffuse any situation with a witty retort well there is now congratulations you are being rescued why does she get a blaster and I don't but it's time to get serious let's talk about the real star of this movie her head father first of all hated did not play grandfather this was a big deal for me for obvious reasons second grandfather are you kidding me save grandfather again in all of his glory but a single tear to my eye followed by several more individual tears the first time we see him he's Anna bacta tank on rooster far removed from his iconic armor exposed and vulnerable I really identified with this scene because grandfather's physical appearance reflects my own in herself broken and struggling to hold on to any remaining humanity besides what kind of a badass returns to the place he lost everything he ever cared about it builds a freakin castle that was a rhetorical question by the way the answer his grandfather the way he dealt with clinic was a perfect example of good leadership Clinic was clearly a sniveling worm and it took grandfather's complete mastery of the dark side to keep from crushing his throat Clinic learned an important lesson that day do not bring your HR complaints to a Dark Lord of the Sith and then there's the last ten minutes of the movie a display so powerful it merits the price of admission and our future admission prices I couldn't help but without this moment from the historical film a new hope don't try to frighten us with your sorcerers ways lord Vader your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes I'm sorry general body did you not watch the security cam footage of grandfather patiently stalking a group of heavily armed soldiers wielding both light saber and the force in a perfect display of the fed power of the dark side with no question in his mind or the minds of his victims that he was death incarnate and that he was only there for one purpose to reap the sands from their puny little bodies why is glad for the entry to anyone death need answered anyways this is a good movie it's rebel propaganda yes but a very stirring moment in rebel history and I was genuinely moved by the displays of courage and sacrifice in the name of what they felt was right so the members can have this moment I'll give them that because at the end of the day you win some and you lose some and today they are about to lose some big time Starkiller base is now that wide and we're about to take it on a test track I believe that

21 thoughts on “Kylo Ren Reviews Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (SPOILERS!)

  1. I love Kylo's love for his grandfather. It was time that Vader receive love for his family, after all Darth Vader was born to protect his wife and children n

  2. "Patiently stalking a group of heavily armed soldiers, wielding both lightsaber and the Force in a perfect display of the full power of the dark side, with no question in his mind, or the minds of his victims, that he was death incarnate, and that he was only there for one purpose, to reap the SOULS from their puny, mortal, bodies!! WHY IS GRANDFATHER ANSWERING TO ANYONE?? DEATH NEED ANSWER TO NO ONE!!


Leave a Reply